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General News · 1st April 2011
norberto rodriguez dela vega
In the current difficult times, it is necessary to laugh a little.

Let me share this parody of Desiderata, that I found very appropriate for today.

Deteriorata was written by Tony Hendra, National Lampoon made it into a song in 1972.


Deteriorata

You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Deteriorata, Deteriorata


Go placidly amidst the noise and waste
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.

Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself;
And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss - and when.
Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do.

Wherever possible, put people on hold.
Be comforted, that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
and despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.

(You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.)

Remember the Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you...
That lemon on your left, for instance.

Be assured that a walk through the seas of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love, therefore, it will stick to your face.

Gracefully surrender the things of youth: the birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan.
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks.

For a good time, call 606-4311, ask for Ken.
Take heart in the deepening gloom
That your dog is finally getting enough cheese.
And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot,
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.

(You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.)

Therefore, make peace with your god,
Whatever you perceive him to be: hairy thunderer or cosmic muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal,
The world continues to deteriorate.
GIVE UP!

(You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.)

- - -

And in case you want to recall the original Desiderata, written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann, here it is:


Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember
what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible
without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become
vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and
lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as
well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career,
however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is
full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue
there is; many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity
and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden
misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive
Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

- - -


PS. The painting in the image is mine