General News · 17th November 2010
I believe that when someone says “We need to start the healing process” that they are, in Cortes symbology, wanting the other side to cease and desist, -to shut up. On that surmise, I have a suggested list of ways to really start that healing process. These are not in any particular order of importance...
1.) Don’t write or read articles such as this.
2.) Do not reduce the issue to them or us, they or we, right or wrong. Do not compliment (clap) or denigrate (question! question!) the other side or their comments. (We could have observed some of his at the last meeting about the D**tor)
3.) Don’t mention the topic AGAIN. Its like a red flag or opening a wound. Time heals, Memories fade. An emotional system will eventually desensitize itself and the individual will live on. (We do this when a loved one passes).
4.) If you really MUST pursue the topic, really try to listen to the other side, ask them questions, do not offer them solutions. (Believing something to be true because your respected or best friend said so stops many from trying this suggestion. But if you understand and exercise steps 5 and 6 you will not be afraid to engage in this step.)
5.) Respect and realize that there ARE two sides to every story, That you probably do not have access to all the facts or events in an issue. (All are good people, there are no loonies)
6.) Try not to put yourself on one of the sides and if you can, divorce yourself from the side you took. (This could open unlimited possibilities and you will feel freer)
7.) When we meet again, only talk about the weather or those Damn Canucks.
Non-counsellor, Non-adviser, wish he could follow his own advice,
Richard Trueman ;-)